Because most men are basically strong and tough, emotionally if not physically, women often take that for granted and are excepting them to be invincible. Intrinsically? Yes. Although a boy can be influenced by words such as, "Boys don't cry," if he's normal and healthy, he'll discover as he matures, that the don't-cry syndrome in reality is part of his very nature.
Yes, he may cry on the inside, but unless he's been pampered and sweet-talked as a child so that he is less than the world's idea of manly, he won't want his tears to show except in extreme conditions.
No one faults a man for crying visible tears when he loses a child, watches a buddy die in battle during war or similar tragedies. No one expects the tears to stay invisible when a guy's wife dies or if she divorces him or his life's work crumbles, It's the frequent display of tears that are far more female than male.
It all ties in with the Biblical perspective of the man who is to be the woman's protector and provider - an edict of God from the time of Eden, the first home of the human race. That want to protect and provide is partly responsible for little boys being aggressive. It's what drives them to play with guns. For that reason, among others, little boys need to think that they are tough. Women's open display of feelings partially results from an emotional need that they inherited at the same time men were ordained to be their protectors.
If that sounds basic, it is. If it sounds improbable, it's because the discourse needs more clarification than my one article can provide. I've expanded on the subject and presented my proofs in my books, two of which are Keep Love Exciting and Lasting (for men) and Love Me Always (for women).
Since men are strong and protective, some women believe that they should be resilient enough to take every setback in stride and without complaining, including their wives' verbal badgering or criticism. A guy is to be Super-Super Man and never show that he has vulnerabilities; or that he hurts; or that he can be crushed. In such a woman's mind, he doesn't need someone to understand and be sympathetic except once in a far flung while. He and his needs are often shoved in the corner.
Madison asked: What causes us women to put our children's needs before our husbands'? We recognize we should do things for our men that we don't. So true. It's also true that she may not know that her man has needs that only she, his loved woman, can provide.
Yet, milady is having trouble herself. She has many responsibilities tugging at her. There is so much to DO that when husband arrives on the scene, there just isn't TIME for him! Somehow she thinks he should be adult enough to realize it. To complicate it further, both mothers and fathers have an intense desire to protect, help and immerse themselves in their offspring and as a result, neglect each other.
The opposite of the woman who takes her husband's resilience for granted is the female who insists that her man cry visible tears or find his "inner child," and tries to form him into a female like creature. She does the same with her male children. She takes away their toy guns and may even insist that they play with dolls...and not always male dolls. It's no wonder some grow up confused about their sexuality.
Be more thoughtful and understanding of your husband, Pretty Wife, if you would have a happy man and a marriage that is solid. Shower him with loving attention and praise. At the same time, give him room to be a man. Male. Strong, Masculine. Rough. Then he won't mind, when the time comes that he is truly hurting, when the tiger becomes a kitten, if you hold him, sympathize with him, listen to him and pump him up with encouragement.
Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author and Speaker Love Relationship Headquarters
Yes, he may cry on the inside, but unless he's been pampered and sweet-talked as a child so that he is less than the world's idea of manly, he won't want his tears to show except in extreme conditions.
No one faults a man for crying visible tears when he loses a child, watches a buddy die in battle during war or similar tragedies. No one expects the tears to stay invisible when a guy's wife dies or if she divorces him or his life's work crumbles, It's the frequent display of tears that are far more female than male.
It all ties in with the Biblical perspective of the man who is to be the woman's protector and provider - an edict of God from the time of Eden, the first home of the human race. That want to protect and provide is partly responsible for little boys being aggressive. It's what drives them to play with guns. For that reason, among others, little boys need to think that they are tough. Women's open display of feelings partially results from an emotional need that they inherited at the same time men were ordained to be their protectors.
If that sounds basic, it is. If it sounds improbable, it's because the discourse needs more clarification than my one article can provide. I've expanded on the subject and presented my proofs in my books, two of which are Keep Love Exciting and Lasting (for men) and Love Me Always (for women).
Since men are strong and protective, some women believe that they should be resilient enough to take every setback in stride and without complaining, including their wives' verbal badgering or criticism. A guy is to be Super-Super Man and never show that he has vulnerabilities; or that he hurts; or that he can be crushed. In such a woman's mind, he doesn't need someone to understand and be sympathetic except once in a far flung while. He and his needs are often shoved in the corner.
Madison asked: What causes us women to put our children's needs before our husbands'? We recognize we should do things for our men that we don't. So true. It's also true that she may not know that her man has needs that only she, his loved woman, can provide.
Yet, milady is having trouble herself. She has many responsibilities tugging at her. There is so much to DO that when husband arrives on the scene, there just isn't TIME for him! Somehow she thinks he should be adult enough to realize it. To complicate it further, both mothers and fathers have an intense desire to protect, help and immerse themselves in their offspring and as a result, neglect each other.
The opposite of the woman who takes her husband's resilience for granted is the female who insists that her man cry visible tears or find his "inner child," and tries to form him into a female like creature. She does the same with her male children. She takes away their toy guns and may even insist that they play with dolls...and not always male dolls. It's no wonder some grow up confused about their sexuality.
Be more thoughtful and understanding of your husband, Pretty Wife, if you would have a happy man and a marriage that is solid. Shower him with loving attention and praise. At the same time, give him room to be a man. Male. Strong, Masculine. Rough. Then he won't mind, when the time comes that he is truly hurting, when the tiger becomes a kitten, if you hold him, sympathize with him, listen to him and pump him up with encouragement.
Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author and Speaker Love Relationship Headquarters
About the Author:
Do you have relationship problems? You are not alone. Millions have marriage problems Saving your marriage is what we do best , and get separate help for men Check here for free reprint licence: Men Have Feelings, Too.
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