All I want to know now that I know she cheated is how do I stop hurting after my wife cheated? I can't move past this solid lump of pain in my heart that feels like a dagger that just keeps getting twisted and turned. How do I get over that feeling and stop hurting?
The easiest answer can be said in terms of moving on without her by your side. You can be busy and enjoy what you do such as hobbies or work. It might do the job in forgetting her in the process but pain does exist in hurting you in the first phase of post-cheating consequences experienced. It takes time to heal after which the hurting will stop. Pain will finally be a memory of the feeling and not feeling the memory of your wife. But that's the reality of letting go.
And this is not the way you wanted things to work. Letting go was not your option because you are reading this. You know you can make things work for the better. If there is a way to improve your relationship then surely you wanted this to be the real reality. Your wife is our focal point here. Saving your marriage will so much make use of her presence in your mind no matter you will feel the hurt at the start. Yes, it isn't easy but it's the outcome you have been wanting for. Be sure it's the path you really wanted to go and if you are, how do you untangle the hurting disordered relationship?
1) Accentuate the positive. You can still fill your mind with thoughts other than your wife's cheating. In fact, if you decide to stop what you're doing and write down a list of ten things you love about your wife every time your mind starts to dwell on the fact that she has cheated on you (and make it a different list of ten each and every time), you might find that there are many wonderful things about your wife that far outweigh the mistakes she's made along the way.
2) Solution, Solution, Solutions. Reside your thoughts on discovering a solution for your marriage. As we move on with life, we always experience problems naturally. Too many have not been able to solve them because they were too busy thinking about the problem but not finding a way to solve the problem. You are in pain, and what makes it constant is when you do nothing and keep on living in it. You have to formulate what to do especially when she's around to help you create together.
3) It takes two. The most important thing to keep in mind when trying to move beyond the pain of your cheating wife is that it takes two people working together to move on and make things better. Talk to your wife when the going gets tough and find a solution together.
The easiest answer can be said in terms of moving on without her by your side. You can be busy and enjoy what you do such as hobbies or work. It might do the job in forgetting her in the process but pain does exist in hurting you in the first phase of post-cheating consequences experienced. It takes time to heal after which the hurting will stop. Pain will finally be a memory of the feeling and not feeling the memory of your wife. But that's the reality of letting go.
And this is not the way you wanted things to work. Letting go was not your option because you are reading this. You know you can make things work for the better. If there is a way to improve your relationship then surely you wanted this to be the real reality. Your wife is our focal point here. Saving your marriage will so much make use of her presence in your mind no matter you will feel the hurt at the start. Yes, it isn't easy but it's the outcome you have been wanting for. Be sure it's the path you really wanted to go and if you are, how do you untangle the hurting disordered relationship?
1) Accentuate the positive. You can still fill your mind with thoughts other than your wife's cheating. In fact, if you decide to stop what you're doing and write down a list of ten things you love about your wife every time your mind starts to dwell on the fact that she has cheated on you (and make it a different list of ten each and every time), you might find that there are many wonderful things about your wife that far outweigh the mistakes she's made along the way.
2) Solution, Solution, Solutions. Reside your thoughts on discovering a solution for your marriage. As we move on with life, we always experience problems naturally. Too many have not been able to solve them because they were too busy thinking about the problem but not finding a way to solve the problem. You are in pain, and what makes it constant is when you do nothing and keep on living in it. You have to formulate what to do especially when she's around to help you create together.
3) It takes two. The most important thing to keep in mind when trying to move beyond the pain of your cheating wife is that it takes two people working together to move on and make things better. Talk to your wife when the going gets tough and find a solution together.
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