Thursday, September 9, 2010

Settling Issues In The Marriage After The Cheating: The Better Way

By T Dub Jackson

Neither of you two is good in resolving conflicts in your marriage. With cheating coming up as an issue in your marriage, the need to strengthen the skill with either one or the both of you arises. Below are some paths you can try to resolve issues in your marriage after cheating which are really productive and can eventually leave you both a lot better after the end of conflict had been reached instead of having a worse situation.

Can you count the number of times similar situation such as this came up in your place?

He says: "What's up with the soup? It tastes a little off tonight?"

She responds: "What do you mean you hate my cooking? You've never had a problem with it in the past! Did she cook better for you? Is that what you're saying? That she's a better cook?"

And bam-mo! Suddenly World War 7 has broken out in the middle of your dining room and it doesn't look like anyone is going to be taking prisoners.

Is that not a familiar story?

There has to be a better way, right?

There is!

1) Let go of things. It need not only be about those sensitive arguments but also those things brought up from the past. For a productive arguments or disagreements, limitations must be in placed within the topic that is at hand and to avoid bringing up unresolved issues that became part of history each time an argument comes up. If they are valid issues then resolve them in a different in a different setting at a different time when you are not having arguments over something so far-fetched.

2) Stop escalating the fight. How many wars could have been won without nearly as much bloodshed and needless loss of life had cooler heads prevailed and no escalations occurred from the very beginning? Stop taking it to the next level or making the argument about more than it is really about.

3) Don't bring issues from the past. It would never be productive if arguments revolve in the digging of each other skeletons when all you need to discuss is the issue at hand. Live for the day, put the past behind and look forward to a better future even in your arguments.

4) Accept the possibility of losing to pave way for winning. Quit fighting to win the fight and begin fighting to save your marriage. That is the end that all this has to come down to. Winning the fight is no longer important when it would all result to losing the love of your life in the end.

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