Friday, September 24, 2010

How To Rescue My Marriage

By Kerry McIntosh

I got an interesting voice mail the other day from a good friend. It started with "Lynn, my husband is talking about getting a lawyer" and ended with "I need to know how to save my marriage". I have known this couple for years, and didn't have even the smallest clue they were dealing with marriage complications. We talked on the phone for a while and she let me know what was going on. The sad thing about it was that their problems are ones that they should have taken care of and solved way before they got out of hand. For any of you wanting to know how to save my marriage, I hope the tips I shared with her will help you as well.

Cool Off

A lot of times this is the most vital step in learning how to rescue my marriage. Folks can definitely say some very hurtful things while angry to the folks that they really love, things that they would never even consider saying to someone else. As soon as you see yourself getting into a terrible argument, you must stop. Step back from the situation by any means necessary and allow the situation to cool down. After all, when was the last time you made a brilliant decision when you were angry?

Fix The Problem Not The Blame

If you or your husband are attempting to assign blame for what took place, you are doing the exact opposite of what you need to be doing for those of you wanting to know how to save my marriage. You can not work on the core issues if one of you is on the defensive. You need to decide if your marriage is more important than finding fault.

Work Together On The Solution

Your marriage is the most vital partnership that you'll ever be inovolved with. So treat it like one. One person can not carry the entire burden on their own for long nor should they have to. This will throw the entire relationship out of balance and balance is an critical part of a good marriage.

Learn To Laugh

I am definitely not saying that your marital complications shouldn't be taken seriously. They absolutely should. That being said, it is amazing how often we can make an ant hill seem like Mount Everest. For anyone wanting to learn how to save my marriage, laughter will go a long way in showing you how small some potentially large issues can be. As soon as things are put in their appropriate perspective, you could even feel stupid for getting so upset in the first place. For a couple wanting to learn how to save my marriage, these 4 tips are a good place to start.

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