Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Saving Your Marriage -Realize The Right Thing To Do

By Alan Robinson

The question "how to save my marriage" often comes up way too late. This is especially true for anybody who are ignorant of their own marriage life; suddenly the divorce paper is show up and they don't have any idea what had happened. But if you're at least have ordinary marriage life where you still care for your partner, you'll notice if the divorce is on its way and you still can find a solution.

There are many reasons for marital conflicts; your spouse may simply say "I don't love you anymore", but there are surely a number of reasons behind it. Below are a few things that possibly cause a marital conflict:

1. You both lack communication because you both has time consuming job. When there is no communication, it is like sharing a bed with a total stranger.

2. There is other man/woman. Affair might be happen from time to time, particularly if your partner feels that he/she has found someone whom he/she can share his/her passions; in this case, the passion that you don't have.

3. You don't respect your spouse. You constantly want everything carried out in your way and ignore his/her thought. Regardless of whether you believe you are right or even if you ARE right; the point of living together in a marriage are respecting and honoring your partner way of thinking.

Either way, when you realize the crumble in your marriage, don't panic. Sit down and think calmly; ask yourself "how to save my marriage?" The first thing NOT to do is act on your emotion. You feel hurt, so you try to hurt your partner back. You stop sharing and start arguing with him/her over small matter. You keep searching for your partner negative side and always criticize him/her for that. You won't acknowledge that you HAVE a marriage problem and refuse to seek professional help. These kind of things can happen if you just follow your instinct.

"So what should i do Alan? How to save my marriage when she/he doesn't seem to care about me anymore?" If the love dies, all that you have to do is lit it back. If you think that you still wish to be with your partner and you still love him/her, then learn to display your love and make him/her notice. You need to CHANGE.

Here is the idea: marriage is when a couple live together and grow as time passes; there isn't any status quo, you're either growing apart or growing together. Being live together and understanding each other well, your behaviors have great influence in your partner. Don't trust me? Note that you must have copied something from your partner; it may be taste on foods or designs, how you state certain things, the way you handle troubles, etc.

Exactly what does it convey? It means that by putting your very best effort to change and fix your marriage, your lover will be affected, regardless of whether he/she wants it or not. No, it isn't a walk in the park, but it is much better than sulking while thinking "Is this my carelessness? When did it started? How to save my marriage? How to get out from this situation?"

Changing yourself to save your marriage will need effort, determination, and commitment, but you can start by respecting your partner. Actually, not merely respect, show him/her that you admire, trust, believe, and love him/her. Listen to his/her thoughts and problems. Don't only see the bad side and ask for a fight, but focus more on resolving the problem together.

Your goal is to become a new person that can love others as well as lovable. Your change will have great impact on your spouse: how he/she sees you and the way he/she values your relationship.

About the Author:

No comments:

Post a Comment